Expectations

Have you ever seen the look on someone’s face when you do something wrong, or something that they didn’t want you to do, but you did it anyway? Sometimes, I can see it in their eyes, even if they don’t show it on their face. Its not that hard to spot. Most of us see it every day. In common terms, we call that look ‘disappointment.’

Literally, ‘disappointment’ is when a person doesn’t do the stuff they’re ‘appointed’ well enough, so that satisfies other people. 

I’ve seen a lot of disappointed looks in my 16 years of existence. But, why do people get disappointed? It’s because they have expectations.

I’m expected to be the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect student, hell, even the perfect girlfriend. But I can’t. I am a horribly messed up person; I couldn’t possibly live up to those expectations. And that’s where the disappointment comes in.

See, the people who know you, assume that you can do everything. That you’re superhuman, somehow. That you can juggle education and a social life and still not be a bad daughter (or son). But it’s not possible, is it? I can’t be what everyone else wants.

So what if I like being by myself? So what if I don’t want to go out every day? So what if I want to concentrate on my music more than my studies? Why do others care?

If I want to become a musician, or at least, audition, I should go for it. My parents will probably not support it. But if I don’t do it, I’ll spend the rest of my life cursing myself; asking myself what my life would have been like if I had thought about myself before I thought about others.

I’m probably being a hypocrite when I say this, but I think people should do what they want to, without thinking about others’ opinions. Sure, have a sense of community and moral values, but think about what you want to do, before you think about how others will react to it. Consequences can be dealt with. But you will never forgive yourself if you don’t do what you want. You’ll keep wondering ‘what if?’ and that is probably the worst question you can ask yourself. Living your life in the past will never help. Do whatever you want to, so that you don’t have to worry about it later.