Have you ever seen the look on someone’s
face when you do something wrong, or something that they didn’t want you to do,
but you did it anyway? Sometimes, I can see it in their eyes, even if they
don’t show it on their face. Its not that hard to spot. Most of us see it every
day. In common terms, we call that look ‘disappointment.’
Literally, ‘disappointment’ is when a
person doesn’t do the stuff they’re ‘appointed’ well enough, so that satisfies
other people.
I’ve seen a lot of disappointed looks in my
16 years of existence. But, why do people get disappointed? It’s because they
have expectations.
I’m expected to be the perfect daughter,
the perfect sister, the perfect student, hell, even the perfect girlfriend. But
I can’t. I am a horribly messed up person; I couldn’t possibly live up to those
expectations. And that’s where the disappointment comes in.
See, the people who know you, assume that
you can do everything. That you’re superhuman, somehow. That you can juggle
education and a social life and still not be a bad daughter (or son). But it’s
not possible, is it? I can’t be what everyone else wants.
So what if I like being by myself? So what
if I don’t want to go out every day? So what if I want to concentrate on my music
more than my studies? Why do others care?
If I want to become a musician, or at
least, audition, I should go for it. My parents will probably not support it.
But if I don’t do it, I’ll spend the rest of my life cursing myself; asking
myself what my life would have been like if I had thought about myself before I
thought about others.
I’m probably being a hypocrite when I say
this, but I think people should do what they want to, without thinking about
others’ opinions. Sure, have a sense of community and moral values, but think
about what you want to do, before you think about how others will react to it. Consequences
can be dealt with. But you will never forgive yourself if you don’t do what you
want. You’ll keep wondering ‘what if?’ and that is probably the worst question
you can ask yourself. Living your life in the past will never help. Do whatever
you want to, so that you don’t have to worry about it later.